Hold up. When isn't it!?
Fallen man, decrepit world, broken relationships, wounded hearts. Life is full of it. We are hurt and so we hurt, we feel unheard so we push away further, we are desperate so we take desperate measures, we have longings so we seek to fill the void. We all are playing the same broken record on repeat. Some reggae, some hard rock, some a bleeding violin solo, but same hopeless melody of need.
But Jesus.
If you don't know Him, I know you're feeling beyond hopeless and my heart aches for you. If you know a false version or a cheap imitation of His limitless love, you're drowning in a tragic sea of counterfeit and I know you're just so done. As you should be.
I've tried to fix, to love, to heal, to sacrifice, to be big, to be strong... but as determined and headstrong as I am, I eventually run into a concrete wall. I collapse in exhaustion and find myself sitting in a puddle of my need and can only look up.
The Rescuer! I always meet Him there.
"In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart... I have overcome." Jn 16:33
This is where we get drunk on Jesus and climb into the hammock of grace. A rest for our souls as He tends to our hearts just like a Shepard does. He has fought all of our battles for us, claimed the trophy and says "Peace out, sugar pie. I did it so you don't have to. Be at rest."
Do we even hear those words?!
"Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Ps 116:7
Where we really begin to see this sweet rest is when someone else's unrest bumps our hammock. Ya know, the person bulldozing right into you with a lawn mower of drama. They come full force, you go flying off, lemonade splashing to the air and your straw hat flying across the yard. All gets turned upside down and suddenly you're on the ground in a tizzy and you either want to sit and cry that your perfect peaceful moment was ruined or you want to chase them down with all the vengeance of every lecture Aunt B ever gave Opie, finger wagging and all, as your floral hips shuffle across the lawn on a mission to give them a piece of your mind!
But "He was moved with compassion." (Matt 14:14) When He saw us in all our broken neediness, He was moved with compassion.
I get that going from hurt and anger to compassion feels impossible sometimes.
David and I have been in a class on connections and understanding how the brain works. The book we are studying was written by a secular author, but it's fascinating how everything points to divine design. How we are wired, how our emotions and brains and chemicals in the body works is fascinating.
It also leads you to compassion. When you see that we all operate out of basic emotions - fear, anger, hurt, loneliness, shame, etc, you begin to look for the why behind why people do what they do. Surprise, surprise, they are broken too. Hurting. Needy.
In our home we have been aware of our neediness a lot lately.
It's a beautiful thing to surrender.
You know what is just so dang cool?! He's got this. If you roll your eyes or you're fighting or screaming in exhaustion (as I have) then looks like we gave up the free ticket to peace.
Dangit, how I wish it wasn't that simple. Then I wouldn't feel like such an idiot for living otherwise so often.
As Shauna Niequist put it so perfectly: "you were broken down and strange yesterday, and you still are today, and the only one freaked out about it is you."
He's not freaked out. He looks at you and sees Jesus in your stead.
So what does this do? Grace hammock. I end my classes a lot with "choose grace today for yourself and for others." Why? Simply because we can. Because of Jesus, we can.
Live in the leading of love. Whenever I get away from it all and shut the door to all the crazy and get off the loony bus, I find the one single thing that matters: love.
God says it's the greatest commandment. He can say that with full authority because He lived it. Chances are, if you can't love, you don't know you've been loved. Love makes us whole. It fills in the cracks and potholes of pain and loneliness and hurt and shame and creates a smooth surface for a story to be written upon.
Cultivate compassion. Live in the leading of love. Get drunk on Jesus and climb in the hammock of grace.
Pop this tune on and know all is well when we rest our souls in the shade tree of His victory.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EujkpJ6pAmo&list=RDEujkpJ6pAmo
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